That night I was telling her a story!

That night I was telling her a story.
A story that I had written.
A story that I told everybody
that I made up,
while everybody except her knew
That it was not a story
It was my 21 years of life
Compiled in approximately
Two hundred and fifty words.

That night I was telling her a story
A story she seemed to be interested in,
A story she knew was everything
That I wanted the world outside
To believe as fiction.

That night I was telling her a story
Of all that had happened to me
Including the failures
That broke me, tore me, made me;
The kind of failures that taught me
How un-important it is to lust and drool
Over those notions of success.

That night I was telling her a story
From my heart without the dictation
Of my head and logic.
It had all my passions, fantasies, dreams
And lots more of magic.

That night I was telling her a story
While she was looking at me with
Her closed eyes under that white sheet
In which she was covered with;
She was not breathing,
But I knew she was alive
She had promised me
She wouldn’t die
And I believed her.

And so, that night I was telling her a story.

So, let’s make peace with it!

So, let’s make peace with it today
For once and for all.
I love you
And you don’t have the time
To acknowledge my love for you
But, you don’t mind me
Putting in all that effort
Because it’s a reason
For you to boast to people
“oh look at that crazy human
That human like, shit worthy thing
Could do anything for me
And I wouldn’t have to
Care a damn about it”
Woha! That’s so much for
Your pride, such a massage
For your ego.

I am glad I love you
I am glad that I still
Have the ability to
Give you more,
To pour in more
Love for you
Because I love you
From all that I have.

I am proud of the
Love, care and affection
I shower on you
Because, damn! If you look
Through my eyes
You would realise
That you deserve every
Ounce of it.

It’s okay,
You don’t have my eyes
You don’t see what I do
And so you choose to
Do what you do.

It’s fine
For you to be
Ignorant and arrogant
After all I’m not going anywhere
I’ve given you the liberty
To treat me as you like
So maybe this is what I deserve

But, rest assured
Loving you has taught me
How beautiful it is
To love unconditionally
And be comfortable
With not being or meaning
Anything to the beloved.

Thank you, you
I love you

Diwali 2017!

My grandfather has always been a man of few words. He didn’t write much. He was a Mathematics professor and loved the subject with utmost purity and sincerity. He used to tell me how Maths took him to places and it was his duty to make maths reach people. I didn’t like the subject and he never made any remarks on that he was okay with it, he valued my choices. He often used to say if you have to ever choose between work and worship make sure you choose work; because it is your work that will help you gain the trust of people and trust is the most important achievement in life. He made me realise how winning hearts and gaining trust are two very different yet equally important things. He had a certain glow in his eyes always. You could call it a symbol of the most pious soul or my obsession with finding a tinch of light in eyes. It’s been more than 7 years since he embraced the skies yet it feels as if he is just right next to me. His gorgeousness remains crystal clear in my head. He was obsessed with standing by people he loved. But, the major problem was he loved everybody in his life. Even if someone met him once he would make sure that he stands with him/her when they needed him. When I used to ask him the logic behind this he’d just say that the we don’t need to understand or decode people, we just need to stand by them when they need it, maybe give them a hug when they’re low. Now, that I think of it, I think he was right! What else would you want except a warm hug on a tough day? Damn! I realised it a bit too late. I used to think that the only emotion that exists is love. Until, he made me believe in how love is not an emotion but an essential for the world. I used to tell him I feel loved, he used to correct me by saying you’re surrounded by love. I am yet differentiate between the two. Tonight, I am sitting at my office desk, while everyone out there is celebrating Diwali and damn I am not sad or cranky about it. I am absolutely fine with it. Seems like Grandpa knew the plan of action of life before he made a place amongst those stars up there.
Happy Diwali, world! 💛

No, it's not okay!

No!
It’s not okay
To not be okay;
So,
Choose
Choose to speak
Choose to scream
Choose to express.

You deserve all the
Light, shine and glory
You deserve to be okay
You deserve to be
All smiles all the time.

Anxiety and depression
Are real, but rest assured they
Aren’t real good friends
So make sure
You don’t sit with them forever
Get rid of it, talk about it.

Just as wounds heal
With medication and time
This too shall,
Just give it sometime
To heal with love and therapy.

There is hope
You are hope
Live, love, laugh.

Out of love - 84!

Questions are bound to make you uncomfortable, they aren't your Lullaby after all!
------
But, if you don't believe in magic, how will you have faith in hope?
---------
Everything's fine, dude
It's just that the little
Slimy heart,
Won't let you be okay
With concept of
Being
And
Being okay.
-----------
When logic has given up, it's always magic that winks and prevails.
--------
Just like broken crayons continue colouring, broken hearts continue bleeding love!
----------
The rebel.
The revolution.
The war.
All lies right in the center of the throat. 

Usually, choked!
--------
Light doesn't shine, it just glows;
Just like the breeze which heals the soul.
--------
The moon doesn't heal anymore,
The cracks of the soul now feel like scars. Numb, ugly and helpless.
---------
You capture only what you cannot keep. No wonder it's always said "smile please".
----------
You need to embrace the expression of those who express the parts of you.