It’s difficult, very difficult!

It’s difficult, very difficult.
Extremely illogical
Infinitely hurtful,
Yet, I choose,
What I have chosen.
No, it’s not,
What I wanted to choose,
But I’ve chosen, despite.

My heart would hurt,
Soul would burn
Mind would explode,
Yet, I choose.

There are no questions
And hence no answers,
There are no corners of solace
And hence no goodnight

This is it,
A choice, unwilling
Spine chilling

Yet, dealing, believing, being.

How do I tell you!

How do I tell you
How scared I am
Of those afternoons
In the classrooms
Which feel like a gas chamber
That suffocate & not kill.

How do I tell you,
About the times I shiver
Just with thought
That I will end up doing
What I have been dreading to
For all my life.

How do I tell you,
That each morning
When I apply the concealer
On my dark circles
It feels like a murderer
Of those dreams which
I have nurtured all this while.

How do I tell you,
How cowardly I feel
On not being able to
Shatter the glass ceiling
Which you have built for me.

How do I tell you,
About the cyclones & hurricanes
That I contain, which have broken
But not shattered me as yet

How do I tell you,
Do I even tell you,
Do I need to tell you?
Can’t you just see?