Monday, 31 August 2015

Out of love 22!

Art never's the people who forget how to live it!.
In this oscillation between CV and academics, I forgot how to love and dream.
You only hate things and beings which you can't afford to love and lose.
That bullet that hit the chest had finally given her the freedom to fly!
I kept my eyes shut because i didnt want to see beauty, i wanted to feel it. Shut eyes and an emotionless heart had felt beauty in all forms.
Some walls are not whitewashed regularly because they have impressions of memories.
This world works on perception instead of perfection!
A soul never craves for love. All it seeks is care and affection. It's the greedy attention seeking slimy fist size pumping organ which feels lifeless without love.
It was hurt because it had lost something that never belonged to it.
There was a hug and everything after that was beyond magic.

Saturday, 29 August 2015

Happy Rakshabandhan!

As I look back, there is a flashback of something beyond memories. I can feel hugs and kisses,  those books with a message which I never read but have kept very nicely in my book rack and the list of things and emotions is endless. This bond is probably the only bond which has given me the freedom to JUST BE, unadulterated and natural me. They say bonds bound you but this bond has helped or rather made me realise what I really am.
A relationship which can't be expressed in words, a bond which can't be described, a friendship which is beyond it's definition and most importantly the faith which is unsaid yet very well known. 
From you being a healer, therapist, listener and of course the rescue person that I know to being THE only person who I know has faith in me that I will make it big one day and my dreams are not fantasies but the reality in the making.
As I write this I can see everything with that sepia filter. These memories are old, yet so fresh, there is a thin layer of dust on them which signifies that 19 years is a lot, and this dust is an eye witness of the times we have spent together.
It's almost impossible to imagine a perfect brother because I have never known what a perfect brother is like. No book defines that, even if some good book did; I am sure I wouldn't have read that (you know why). But i have surely known what a loving brother is like.
You have known me since 1996 and I have seen pictures that prove you have me loved me since then and that proves you are my loving brother, though I know I dont need these photographers to prove this fact but since we belong to a family of lawyers I thought I shouldn't break a lawyer's conduct and hence my statement was backed up with evidences.
Since, this rakshabandhan I miss tying rakhi on your wrist and of course receiving a gift in return. Here's a huge hug EXCLUSIVELY for you.
Lots of love!
Happy Rakshabandhan Bhaiya!

Thursday, 27 August 2015

Our universe!

Dripping taps
Leaking flush tanks
Overflowing drains
And much more
Wasting water
Yet guiltlessly.

And here
I stand
Guilty without
Any acquisition
Of crime.

Criminals moving
Freely like
A wanderer
As if the world
Belongs to them
And dreamers
Accuse themselves
Of nothingness
And feel guilty
About it.

For us
Universe is ours
For them
What in hand
Is all that
They own.
Yes! We own
Every bit
Of the universe
For it has
Helped us exist
The stars
The moon
The ocean
The grass
Everything is ours
We love them
For what they are
The way they are
And natural.

When you waste
A part of it
A part of us dies
A part of us cries
Use it. Judiciously
It's like our baby
We care for it truly.

Wednesday, 26 August 2015


There are days
When I can't
Feel anything
Neither the good
Nor the bad
It seems as if
The world has
Become numb.

I can't sense
My weight
I feel weightless
As if
I'm floating
In a stream
Like a dead fish
Going with the flow
Or maybe

My mind is blank
Absolutely thoughtless
So is my heart
There seems to be
No coordination
Me, my heart and my brain
All of them
Are in a state
Of numbness.

I'm losing faith
In magic
I can't see the
Spark within
And around
Everything is
And so am I.

Monday, 24 August 2015

Finding happiness!

Opening random doors
Fiddling with sealed windows
Checking your pockets
Looking, restlessly
Here and there
In and out
Up and down
Again and again

Did you find it?

I don't think so
You're looking
For it at wrong places
It's in you.
Yes! YOU

Pause for a while
Appreciate the gorgeousness
Praise your body
For that is a piece of art
Love your soul
It is the reason
Behind your artistic existence
Don't you feel
Pretty now?

Focus on your breath
Watch and feel
How naturally
Yet magically
You breathe
The awesomeness
That you inhale
Your aura of love
That you exhale
Spreading and sending
Love to every being
Don't you feel
Grateful and humble now?

Have you found it now??

I think you have
The one who
Appreciates and loves self
Is the one
Who is always


Out of love 21!

It's the tinch of hazynes in memories that actually takes you to the flash back
That micro minute difference between being and feeling dead.
Tailoring and altering yourself in the presence of sunlight to finally being you under the moonlight, just proves that there is no cure for being a split personality!
When bruises become your make up, then pain makes you feel beautiful
And then there was a question mark between them which they never imagined
That level of pain where you forget acknowledging it. It becomes a part of you.
And then I lost myself in the premises of me....
Then comes a time when your only fear is that you don't lose the nothingness which is within you. Because now all you have is nothing and that's what you have got to treasure.
My dreams seem to be unattainable, yet so close.
When bruises become scars, then pain and anger get transformed into suffocation.

Sunday, 23 August 2015

Are we really Free??

I can feel
The chains
And bars
Caging and captivating
My brain
For a reason
That is unknown.

It feels as if
My dreams are
Being curbed
Fantasies are being
Declared illegitimate.
There is something
Which is bounding
My thoughts
And emotions

There is some
Kind or sort
Of a control
Which I
Can't see
Can feel
Very strongly.

Saturday, 22 August 2015

An addiction!

I used to think and believe that writing was my hobby and passion. It's recently that I realised that's it's none. It's an addiction. An addiction which has no going back. I have fallen into this trap and I think I have become a captive here only to realise and feel what freedom is like.  I don't claim to be a writer because I know I'm not. I didn't choose writing , neither did poems and articles choose me. I had emotions which somehow turned out to be stories, I had my own state of bliss which got converted into poems that came from beyond and a lot more.
As I always say that I dont love writing because I haven't explored the beauty of it and I know I wont be because for me it's something which is inexhaustible  . How can I love something which I don't completely know? I have lived it though. Yes! I have felt it. I have experienced the calmness that it induces.
I have never believed in the concept of FANS of writing. I haven't because how can you be a fan of something that belongs to you? Are you a fan of your nose? No. Right? Because you know it's something without which you can't exist all you do is acknowledge it's presence and just be or maybe at times express some gratitude too.
Another reason why I don't love writing is because of the fear of hating. It's a known fact that once you start loving something you might just start hating the same for no good reason.
Therefore, for me writing has been a way of life! :)

Friday, 21 August 2015

Peace and night!

Rhythmic barks of dogs
Peacefully sleeping trees
Sky enjoying it's calmness
Moon shining with brightness

Everything seems
To be calm
And easy
No rush
No hurry
No train to catch
No bus to miss

The soothing breeze
Which flows with ease
The crease less forehead
Which enjoys
The pace of self
Smiling within
Feeling delighted

Wanting and wishing
Time to STOP
Here and now
So that I
Can take
And absorb
This peace
Which I feel

Thursday, 20 August 2015

I am ME!

Shut eyes
Dancing feet
Moving fingers
Easily I breathe

Like a second's needle
Of the watch
I move periodically
While enjoying
My stagnation

Fooling the world
Ditching pressure of
Materialistic things.

I flow like a wave
Furiously beautiful
Yet without
Any pressure
Or effort

I'm neither a
Needle of clock
Nor a
Wave of a sea
I'm just me
Weirdly cute
A bit confused.

Monday, 17 August 2015

I oscillate!

I oscillate
To and fro
Left to right
Like a pendulum
Making it
From one end
To another
Trying to
Be everywhere
Landing up
In the
Middle of nowhere.

But at times
I crave for
Some rest
And stagnation
And peace
Of course.
I don't
Wish and want
To stop
Working and oscillating
This is what
I've chosen
You see.

I want time
To play with
My fantasies
Playful dreams
I require
Time to heal
And deal
With my

What is grace?

What is grace
And beauty?
Is it something
That shines
Glitters and sparkles?

Reflection is graceful
Shadow is not
Sun is beautiful
Moon is not
Colours are happiness
Black is not

Is discrimination
The new form
Of glorified
Grace and beauty?

Sunday, 16 August 2015

Lost within!

There is
This uneasy feeling
Going down
My spine
Making me

My heart beats
Are forgetting
For they are
Looking for
A reason
To exist
And persist

My mind
As usual
Seems to
Enjoy this
Like a movie
It has
No solution.

Oh wait!
Did I
Just forget
How to dream?
For that is
The reason
I wanted
To live for
It seems
As If
I've forgotten
The purpose
Of my existence
My heart has
Forgotten to beat
All it does is
Pump blood
So that I breathe.

Have I
Lost myself
In the
Premises of

Saturday, 15 August 2015

Out of love20!

And then comes a time when ashes burn and hurt more than the fire!
At times you should allow pain to rule your head so that you can focus on other substantive things!

A sealed window is always better than a locked window
Imagination and fiction are either reality in the past or are reality in the making!
You don't really find your ways until and unless you are lost!!!
A lot depends upon the amount of force and pressure you exert while pushing
No oxygen mask can help you breathe when you are suffocated within.
From smile to silence travelled a soul, hurt and bruised yet so strong....
The kind of peace and calmness eyes posses is certainly something which will always help you restore faith in magic!
Sink in music and music will ensure that you float

Thursday, 13 August 2015

Life: A road!

There are
No plans
No maps
No directions
In life
It's not
About reaching
A destination
It's like a
That never ends
A journey
Whose destination
Is the never ending
Journey itself.
The route
Has highs and lows
The speed breakers 
And pot holes
On any road.
It's like a road
Which has
Twists and turns
Traffic and smoothness
Red light and Green light.

Stops and gos
Joys and sorrows
Are all
Part of
This everlasting
Undoubtedly crazy

Wednesday, 12 August 2015


What is a boundary?
Something that 
Is created by bricks 
And wires
Or something
That is marked 
On maps 
Or is it
Something religion 
Has induced.

It is not 
In any of these
That feeling of 
Caged and bonded-ness
Is in the head.
Your head 
Which consists of 
The wicked brain 
Tells you to 
Not cross 
The boundaries 
Which is created
By itself.

Boundary is 
A delusion 
Created by us 

Tuesday, 11 August 2015

Me talk!

My name is Devyani Srivastava. I am a girl and I am 19 years old. The kind of fancy introduction that the hosts or the anchors have generouslly given to me is not what I am. I am not even half as great as what they have made me in less than 10 mins. I am not a saviour, nor a manager, nor an artist. I am just another student like you. Yes! just another student.

I have been told to talk about something which I have no clue about i.e. "Art and healing". I am neither an artist nor a healer. I am one of those who don't even know how to comb their hair properly! And talking about such a heavy topic seems to be some rocket science for me.
According to the protocol I have to give you a brief introduction about myself and therefore I will tell you something about myself. I am a final year under graduate student on record and as per people's perception I am still a 11th grade student. I did my schooling from a good, expensive and a kind of posh school which taught me how to hate studying and the education system. I was a weak English student during the 14 years of my school life. This doesnot imply that I was brilliant with other subjects. This just implies that I did not score marks in English as expected. And in other subjects I never expected marks because I knew I was abnormally bad with them. I have learnt tabla formally. My parents had invested a good amount in my painting class so that I could draw my biology diagrams well, but alas my drawing painting and  sketching abilites still suck. All i can do is colour! (in case that makes a difference). I had a very weird board result. My parents think it was a good one and I think it sucked. So, therefore i call it weird neither good nor bad.
I am pursuing a course which I never wanted to, in a college which is again very okayish according to various surveys.

Coming to my college life. Let me tell you that my college has been the best thing that has happened to me ever. In two years that I have spent in my college I have almost done everything except attending classes. My classroom is a boring place with a supremly boring blackboard and abnormally boring subjects, so I decide to absttain from it. When I joined college 75% attendance was compulsory and for me spending 75 seconds in my class was a torture, So I thought of ways to get attendance officially without attending those monotonous lectures and i fortunately found out a way.That way was to participate in competitions representing my college. I started participating in each and every event that happened in DU and other universities as luck would have it I won some of them too! Soon I became the known face of my college and my demand increased.

Next comes my personal life. I sleep with my teddies namely Softu and Snigu. Yes! I really do that. I hug both of them and then sleep. I am a naughty kid who calls up her Mausi at 11pm to try weird pranks and tease her just like that. I fight with my sister more than a lot because I love it when she screams and her nose turns red and swells a bit.

Ummm.....I think that's all about me.

Finally, coming to the topic that is "Art and healing".
For me art is something which resides within and comes out only when you want to heal yourself. For example the best of poems qand plays were written when the writer was either sad, depressed or heart broken. Tandav which is considered the most complicated and difficult art form was introduced by Lord Shiva. He performed this dance when he felt extremely angry. And I think he too used dance as an outlet to express anger.
Whenever I am extremely sad or angry I either play tabla or casio or I simply write what I feel.
I think art is the best form of therapy to heal yourself. It kind of silences the noise in your head, stops that cyclonish feeling in your chest and most importantly helps you calm down. All those doctors who recommend various drugs to help you ease and relax you are nothing but money extracting devices.
Link yourself with any form of art and you shall never need an asprin!
For me art is healing, For it has helped me heal always.
Therefore, Don't love art instead live it!

Thank you


Monday, 10 August 2015

I stopped!

I stopped
No, time didn't stop
It was moving 
At it's own pace 
Nor did any 
External factor
Pause for a second.

I stopped
To feel my breath
To appreciate 
The beauty in 
And around
To thank 
The universe 
For being what it is

I stopped 
Absolutely thoughtless
To observer how
Change happens 
Every second 
To analyse 
How change is 
The only constant 
We are nobody
To stop 
Make a change
It'll happen automatically

I stopped 
To accept
The way I am.

I stopped 
I wanted to 
STOP and see!

Sunday, 9 August 2015

Out of love 19!

As my eye lids raised the curtain from my eye I could feel the softness of my cheek. No, it wasn't because of the was a tear drop which had sneaked it's way out in the dark.
Then comes a time when peoples mere existence is something which helps you breathe.
Brain and rain if not used judiciously usually find their place in the drain.
Have the same letters yet there meanings are so different. It's always about how you use what you have!
That moment when you force yourself to feel suffocated is the moment when you realise the value of your breath!
Some doors are better locked
Some windows are better shut
Some boxes are better unopened
Some letters are best when unread
You aren't dependant on certain things but if they exist they make life easier and better
That unavoidable difference between a risk and a calculated risk!
That craving to heal, hurts the most!
Before you learn anything new, learn to unlearn what you have learnt

Saturday, 8 August 2015


You stand in front
Of the mirror
For hours
Admiring your beauty
Appreciating your make up
Loving your dress.

You don't even
Notice your shadow
That's your reflection too
Yes! Your reflection

Is the concept
Of self
So shallow
That it
Discriminates between

Or are the
Notions of beauty

Are you scared
Of your
Not so glamorous

A shadow
Is dark
Yet reflects
A mirror
Like a sinner
Shows you
What you wish to see.

Never goes unnoticed
A shadow
Always notices you.
It's upto you
To choose
And decide
Whether you want
To appreciate
The one which
Notices you
The one
Which forces you
To notice it.

It's not easy
To differentiate
Real and Reel
But, they are
Are a very different

Choose wisely!!!

Thursday, 6 August 2015

Rain that taught!

As I stand
In the rain
I can feel
The stream of water
Tapping my head.

I can feel
The negative fumes
As my head soaks
The stream of water.

It falls on
My head
With a constant speed
Without any breaks
Making me feel
Easy and calm.

I can't feel anything
Neither my heart beat
Nor my breath
My mind is blank
All I know is
That water is
Guiding me.

It feels as if
An angel
Has put it's
Hand on my head
And is probably saying
"Don't you worry child heaven's gotta plan for you"
I feel numb
Yet calm.

I have no
Clue about what
Time it is
What should I be doing
All I do is
Enjoy the rain
That is blessing me.

Being drenched
Has never been
So relaxing
My clothes are wet
And so are my floaters
It seems my
Head is filled with water
But still it feels light.

Oh rain!
You've taught me
To live the moment
And I shall
Remain indebted
To you for this
Teaching of yours.

Perception and perspective!

Perception and perspective
Rule and define
The way of life.

Happiness is a myth
Sadness is a delusion
For what is real

Are diversions
Which deviate
You from
Your direction

It's not that
There is
A specific direction
To life
There is
Known as
Way of life.

We want
To live
A better life
With a better
Standard of living
What we fail
To understand
Is what is
That is where
Perspective and perception
Either help you
Or destroy you.

It's upto you
How you take it
Destruction and construction
Lies in the head.

Wednesday, 5 August 2015


Neither a thought
In my mind
Nor an emotion
In my heart
I stand blank
Feeling lifeless
Yet peaceful
And easy.

Along with
Have said
Everything is
White now.

Or is it
Whatever it is
It's a nice place
I like this state
Of my
Mind and heart.

There are no
Wars and tussles
No, tug of war
Going on
My mind
My heart

Is being
A blessing
In disguise??

Tuesday, 4 August 2015

Out of love 18!

The moon shall shine brighter than the brightest but still it will always belong to the night sky.
There are nights when sleep doesn't bless me and then there are nights when I fear sleep because it might show me something in my dream that may terrify me for more than a while.
Only if we started focussing on living instead of winning.
That inevitable difference between a dream and dreamS is something only  a dreamer will understand.
That tussle within which doesn't allow you to decide whether you want help or you want the world to understand you.
Since there are no good jokes left in the world, life decided to LOL itself.
Before I could move my lips, use my eyes had already told the story untold...
That sound of silence within when you listen to your favourite song on loop!
That level of pain when you forget  that pain actually hurts.
And then I rode my bicycle without the supporting wheels only to check whether I had the ability to fall and rise.

Monday, 3 August 2015

Wanderer over a traveler!

I am
A wanderer
Of sorts
Who travels
From one bubble to another
From one cloud to another
From one dream to another.

I travel
Without any baggage
So that
I am free
Of the
Fear to lose.

It's always
The fear of losing
Which causes tension
Because once it's gone
It either
Becomes a
Scar forever
You console
Yourself by
"Bygones are bygones"

I prefer
To refer
Myself as
A wanderer
Rather than
A traveler.
So, that
I De-burden
Myself of planning
And preparing

I don't carry
I don't trust them
You see
I go where
My feet
Take me
Under my
Hearts guidance.

Sunday, 2 August 2015


Dancing rain drops
Smiling clouds
Fresh roses
Happiness all around.

Little kids
Dancing with joy
Lovers romancing
With delight

They love
This weather
The fragrance.

Crops enjoying
The drops
Fields become
So soft

Rain hits
The ground
To spread

Isn't it
Selfless all
Every time?

Making mud
Smell sweet
Making it's texture soft

It goes down
Without a thought.
Such is rain
Cold yet warm.

Saturday, 1 August 2015


I'm a mad being
Who believes without seeing
Of a parallel universe
Without realising
And accepting
The real world.

Seeing things
Taking decisions
Following instructions
As per mind
Wanting to live life
With all my heart

A mad being
Who wants an identity
By killing originality
Maybe, because
Original is scary
And rare.

I believe in love
But I don't see it
Yet I agree
And do things
According to my eyes
Instead of heart.

Bluffing and fooling myself
That I have a soul
To which I wish to listen
Very truly
But then I don't
Because time
And the urge to climb
Won't let me do that

I am a mad being
Because I believe
What I don't see
But function
According to my eyes

Yes! I
Contradict and assassinate
The soul within
Because the I knows
That ME can't rise
With soul's insanity
It needs mind's reality
To be successful

And success
Belongs to
The fake MAD
The real MAD
Is happy with
It's soul's insanity
It doesn't need
Petty successful pleasures

The moon!

That thing
Which shines
Bright in
The dark sky
Emitting serenity
Ensuring positivity
Sending light.

It stands out
The million stars
Gazzillion clouds
Smiling and shining.

Reducing itself
To zero
Then rising from it
Like a hero
Sending a message
To the world
To stand up
After a fall
To rise and shine
From zero
To hero.