They say don't do what you don't love to. But to what extent is this feasible? I'm doing something which I HATE whole heartedly. I don't know why am I doing it, I don't know my motive behind doing it, all I know is that I don't have to face certain set of remarks from certain people if I do what I'm doing despite the fact that I hate what I do.
Yes! Peoples opinion about me matters to me because I live in a society and I've to live according to its terms before it decides to throw me out of the same. Some people may love me, many might hate me too. But the fact of the matter is world doesn't work on bonds and love. It works on money, power and reputation of course. And for that I've to work whether I like it or not.
I've been working for quite sometime now, been sleep deprived for almost 9 days, my headache seems to be in love with me, it feels as if someone has put my heart into a shredder and of course my soul feels chained and trapped. But the point is who cares? Forget the whos, do I care for the same? NO!
It's not because I don't want to its just that I can't afford to. I as of now fear to be abandoned from the society. I am scared to lose people and hence in order to keep them happy I do a lot of things which I hate to. Yes! I feel the pressure to make people around me proud of me. I to some extent want people to love me, It doesn't matter if they love me for having a fancy CV or for having certain amount of certificates. Though in this quest I've almost lost myself but nonetheless I'll be glad if by doing this I can make some people around me happy and proud.
Much love, always :)