Out of love - 69!

Love will not come to you,
It'll just surround you,
Like a warm sheet of sunlight
And, a comforting breeze of,
Fresh air!
-------
My story isn't in the books you read, it lies in the eyes you see.
-------
The feeling and essence of being almost is the most unsatisfactory thing ever.
------
It's strange how you and I are bored or maybe too busy to strike a conversation, but still aren't over missing each other.
--------
Waiting for you is painful and tiring, but now I find acceptance in it.
-------
They call her a whore, a slut. Yet again she wrote an award winning novel as annonymous, like always.
--------
Choose hope over trust. Hope may let you down but a breach of trust is bound to shred you to bits.
-------
Your memories are like an earthquake they flash for a few seconds and leave me devastated.
---------
Don't dilute what needs to be dissolved.
---------
So they spoke, this time not to break the ice but to shred their ego.

So you forgot!

So you forgot,

Ah! I should've known
You wouldn't remember it
For one only remembers
What means important to them.

Today, you forgot my wish
Tomorrow, you'll forget me
And, to rub all your sins off
You'll yet again say,
I forgot!

No, you didn't forget
It's just that you didn't
Care enough to keep things
In your head.

Some call it priorities
For others it's just love
But, for you
It's none
And so you forgot.

Today, you've forgotten
And there will be a tomorrow
When I erase, move on and forget you
Don't you dare blame me for that
And even if you do,
I'm sorry, I just forgot you!

I'm a shoulder!

I'm a shoulder
A shoulder made of
The softest cotton, possible
Yet, the firmest one
Ever available.

I exist to ease you,
To absorb your
Wept and unwept tears,
To stand with you
Right next to you
Not even a millimetre away
Just there to be with you,
In your sorrows and pain.

You may forget me
When you are happy and gay
I wouldn't mind that
In any way.

But, just look at me
When in need
And you'll find me
Right there.

I may not be strong enough,
I agree
But, rest assured
I'm firm enough to help
You ease and be.

I do not promise to
Solve your problems and trouble
But I assure you
I will stand with you
Next to you in all your
Traumas and troubles.

I'm yours
Use me as you please
But, just don't confuse
My 'use me' is a shoulder
And not a dustbin
Just know the difference
Else, is as you please.

कुछ अलफ़ाज़, बस यूँ ही -13!

प्यार नहीं आदत है। धीरज रखीये, वक्त के साथ बदल ही जाएगी।
----------
बेहद से खतरनाक और कुछ नहीं होता।
------------
वो जो कल तक मेरी आँखें पढ़ लिया करते थे, आज मेरे बोलने पर भी मुझे समझ नहीं पा रहे हैं।
-----------
तुम्हारी याद भी रोज़ शायद इसीलिए आती है, क्यूंकि तुम्हारे ना के बराबर जो लौट आने की उम्मीद है वो अभी भी मेरे पास और साथ है।
-------
ठैराव को उनका होता है जो रुक जाते हैं, मुसाफ़िरों के नीसब में तो ना जाने कितने आंधी तूफ़ान आते हैं।
---------
हम सब ज़िदगी में या तो कोई किरदार निभा रहे हैं या निभाना चाह रहे हैं। वो क्या है ना, अपने आप से खुश रहना इंसान की फ़ित्रत में है ही नहीं।
----------
तब आँखों में नींद होती थी,
आजकल तो वहाँ बस दर्द से ही
मुलाकात होती है।
--------
जिन आँखों से मुझे इश्क था उन आँखों ने तो मुझे कभी देखा ही नहीं है।
--------
अपने अंदर की आग ट्टोलने से जिस्म नहीं ज़मीर राख होता है।
-------
वो भी एक दौर था, जब वक्त ही कुछ और था।

Out of love - 68!

When the flow of force is more fierce than you, then you either drown or are thrown on to a shore unknown!
-------
Give time the time it deserves, to make things stale and old. Your pain will transform into numbness, soon.
--------
"Sometimes" plays a crucial in making and breaking, simultaneously!
---------
Infinityis the evidence of the inability of expression.
--------
If you believe attachment is fatal, wait till you begin with the procedure of detachment.
---------
I see you everyday in those stars, even when the clouds try to hide them!
----------
While you were busy moving on, I was waiting, over thinking and over reacting about how our perfection ended. Maybe, I just over loved you!
---------
It ended, because we started demanding logic from it. How could our love and promises ever have logic? It was just supposed to be selfless and real.
-------
Between two people, one loves and the other lives the love. Both equally, risky and blissful!
-------
Do you have the courage to bear what you're seeking?

She!

She's love
She's rage
She's aggression
She's passion
She's life
She's an eternal vibe.

She's what you
Want to be
But she's not you
She's a part of infinity
The part that infinity
Feels proud of
She's power.

She's shakti
She's a part of
Everything you and i see.

She shines
She falls
She rises
She has flaws.

She's raw
She's blunt
She's fierce
And fearless
Always in the front.

She is the darkness
Which the light desires
She's the fire
That burns death
To life.

She's magic.
She's sparkle
She's imagination
She's within
She's around
She's sane and sound.

She is what she's!

Out of love - 67!

Wanting is a pleasant feeling, craving unfortunately isn't.
---------
The nib of my pen still bleeds, but now you are not the reason behind it. I've either healed or moved on! :)
--------
A combination of flaws and confusions is often called life!
-------------
Everything May not stay, but somethings will. Always.
-----------
Live the moment, you'll automatically make memories worth cherishing!
-------
Drop by drop,
bit by bit
it healed.

The then wounds
Are now scars
And I call them
Tattoos now.

It's beautiful!
----------
You're not the culprit, my mind is!
---------
Some create it while the rest struggle believing it. Magic!
--------
If you can't embrace nothing, then what can you?
----------
Nothingness and emptiness are two very different feelings. The former is almost equivalent to meditation whereas the latter might prove to be the heaviest burden, ever!

The head: the culprit!

The unrest
And
The constant thumping
In my chest
Force me to believe
What I don't wish to.

That feeling which
Makes it evident
That it's not okay
Is exactly what I don't want.

But,
Now that the chest
Has made it inevitable
Will you STOP
Before it's too late?

All the nights spent
Overthinking and overworking
Are on the verge of retirement
But, your thoughts
Still refuse to quit the place
They are embossed.

I don't blame you,
For the culprit is
My mind.

The mind
Which doesn't want
To feel divine and free
For it's the captivity
Which gives it new
Reasons to fight and strive.

The Sinner. The culprit. The head.

River not ocean!

I'm not doing anything new
I don't wish to do something new
I just want to flow
Like a river
Effortlessly,
In the direction unknown
On a path unseen.

I just want to be
See
What it is to be
And feel
While doing nothing
Feeling everything.

Is it too much
That I demand?
Is it unreal and weird
To crave to be what
It takes to be
What zero yet infinity?

I feel like a restless ocean
Fierce and angry
Unnecessarily,
Eating away all the
Filth and dirt
Without any reason.

I want to be a peaceful
Stream,
Making way
While washing mountains
And
Showering flowers.

At ease and peace.

Out of love - 66

Never been scared of falling down, but the mere thought of falling apart gives me shivers of a lifetime!
--------
Distance never separates, the lack of trust does!
---------
I'm neither your friend nor your lover, but does that nullify my relevance in your life?
--------
The irony is, you and I know what we should; but we will neither accept it nor acknowledge it.
----------
There's nothing more lethal than silent stagnation!
-----------
You were my answer to all the questions but now you're the reason why I question myself!
--------------
Your name might taste bitter now, but rest assured it'll never be stale!
--------
You're so busy ignoring me that I've started believing that you're actually busy!
---------
You're the kind of pain that makes me an artist and a drug that heals every bit of my wounds.
----------
Maybe, we deserve the best; but not each other, certainly.

 

So much for irony!

Don't fall in love
With something you love
For there are chances
Of falling out of love.

Live, bleed and weep
With what you love.
Loving is sinful
Lovers fortunately
Aren't.

Just like you and I
Are not sinners
But the thing that
Keeps us together
A blissful sin.

Bliss. Sin. Love
All in a breath
Taking it away
Yet giving it a
Reason to sustain.

So much for irony.
Yet giving me
Strength, power and resistance
Like iron.

It's funny
Messy
Yet,
Lovely.

Out of love - 65!

I can be in any corner of the world. But, once you call me, I will come. Yes, especially. Not because I can, but because I want to!
-------------
Art does not happen. It just flows, effortlessly.
-----------
Don't try to simplify things, that's exactly how you end up complicating them!
-----------
I haven't won many battles, but I certainly have fought many of them. No, that doesn't make me a loser, it proves that I'm a consistent warrior.
---------------
I don't fear failing but I can't afford losing, losing you!
---------
My craving for you is eternal, your longing for me is seasonal. And that's exactly why it's painful for me and smooth for you.
--------
I hate to love you so often, that my fear of losing you is almost unimaginable.
----------
Missing you drains something beyond my energy.
------------
How I wish you said " I believe you" much before you thought, "I love you"!
---------
I'm not lost. I've probably shredded myself by giving all of me to everyone except myself! 

I'll hold you!

You know,
In case, you don't
So just know
That I'll be there.

Umm... unfortunately
Not forever,
But, rest assured
For an always.

I'll be right next
To you
On the days when
You are falling down.

Yes, I'll hold you
Hold you, firm enough
To not let you
Fall apart.

I don't deserve this!

I don't deserve this
Not even an ounce of it.
All your ignorance
Arrogance,
Reluctance
Negligence
Including those
Goddamn blue ticks
On WhatsApp.
I just don't deserve
All of this.

But,
I take it all
Every bit of all
That you can imagine,
It slaughters
My soul
My emotions
My heart
My self esteem
And what not.
Yet,
I take it all
Literally everyday.

All those
Unwept tears
Hollow feeling
Unslept nights
The futile introspection
The feeling of being
Insufficient for you
All that kills me,
Kills me every minute.

Still, I swallow all of that
You know why?
Because,
I love you,
More than you think
Much more than you know.
I've given almost
All of me to you
Only to know
In return
That I wasn't enough for you.

But,
Rest assured,
I still will love you
Because,
I don't have
An option of
Unloving you.
You've already
Become almost everything
And now all the pain
That you have given
And are still giving
Is a part of me
And maybe my
Life too.

I won't move on
Because,
I don't want to
I want to know
Where I went wrong
What didn't I do
To keep you,
Despite you promising
Me a forever.

All my questions
Deserve answers
Each and every
One of them longs for it
And I shall
Take all your replies
Before we call it
An END.

Speaking vs talking!

We don't have those
Deep conversations anymore,
The kind of conversations
You and I, used to have.

The ones which had
An essence of our dreams
And the fragrance of our struggle
It seems as if we've given up
On each other.

We've been speaking
With each other, everyday
But, it's been a while
We had the kind of conversation
In which we'd talk.

The one's with which
We knew we could
Heal each other
Just like that.

Maybe both of us
Are broken now
Too broken to
Confront ourselves
In infront of each other

Or its just
Me doing
Some disastrous
Overthinking,
As usual.

Out of love - 64!

That heart which shamelessly resided in my body never really belonged to me.
-----------
This culture of being beware of people is the reason why, empathy is endangered these days!
------------
"what happened?"
Umm....life, to say the least.
--------------
It's your abstention from me, that made me a lover.
-----------
The problem is I know, that you won't come back. Yet, I wait for you, unnecessarily!
-------------
I know life's amazing and each day is bright. But, dayum. My craving to see and feel the light is almost gone. It's all dark, in here.
-------------
I thought it was all real, until you came and gave me a reality check!
-------------
Even if those words don't come back to you, rest assured the memories will still come back. Either to bring a smile or to hunt you. Both, nonetheless are painful!
------------
You only search for those who you once had.
-----------
From making memories together, to now being each others Facebook memories only. They certainly had come a long way from being together to now being far -from- each other. 

Appreciate your struggle, you deserve it!

I know you don't understand my struggle, and I don't even expect you to understand a bit, either. It's my struggle after-all why should you even try to empathise?

Moreover, I haven't shown you how much it takes in me to wake up, get ready and stand in front of the world. All I've shown is that I can stand because I have the courage and the power to. You've known me as a bold and independent individual, which I think I am; irrespective of the uncountable times my urge to breakdown has been, irrespective of the fact that I've wanted someone, somewhere to hold me while I was shivering in a corner which you didn't notice because I hid there so well.

You've seen my smile, despite of the immense hollow feeling that I have. I have hid all my anxieties, fears, shivers and insecurities behind that heavy curtain of smile. All my scars are suppressed under the sheet of make ups.

You still won't understand, and that's majorly because I myself haven't learnt to appreciate my share of struggle. I haven't been fair with myself and I still haven't gathered the courage to myself for being so harsh and pathetic!

ये लोग!

ये लोग मुझे बता रहें हैं
की मुझे लोगों से संभल कर
उनसे बच कर
शायद डर कर भी
रहना चाहिए।

पर ये लोग भी
तो उन्हीं लोगों
का ही तो अंश हैं
तो फ़िर ये लोग
इन लोगों में फ़र्क
क्यूँ करते हैं?
क्यूँ नहीं समझते उन्हें
ये अपना जो इनके अपने हैं?


क्या ये लोग अपने लोगों
के अपने नहीं हैं?
क्या ये लोग
लोगों को लोगों की तरह
नहीं देखते?

क्या ये लोग
नफ़रत और दरिंदगी के
इतने नीचे दब गये हैं
कि इन्हें लोगों को देखने से पहले ही
लोगों से गर्हिना होने लगी है?

ये लोग जो
आज लोगों की वजह से हैं
ये उन लोगों के ही नहीं हैं
कैन हैं ये लोग?
क्या हैं लोग?
का से हैं ये लोग?

ये लोग।

Its not easy!

It's not easy
It may never be
But,
Since when did I
Start pausing before
The beginning?
Since, when did I
Start thinking about
The results? 

No!
I'm not this
I never will be.
Though,
You want me
To lose hope
But, rest assured
I won't. 

I'm not your,
Corporate result oriented being
I'm a combination of
The patterns in
My mind
And
The craziness of
My soul.

I'm nothing less
Or nothing more,
I'm just what you
Think about
No more.

Out of love - 63!

The burden of being a burden on you is something I cannot dare and afford to carry.
---------
We're all just remains.
Remains of unaccomplished dreams and left over love!
-----------
I know you won't reply. Atleast spare the anxiety for the grey ticks to turn blue. The time period between that anxiety to the heartbreak is more killing than the heartbreak itself!
-----------
Addiction isn't love, afterall!
-----------
With you I lived life and once you left I learned life.
---------
Treasure your memories, because that's all you've got and earned; in the end.
-----------
Every bit of magic is crafted.
---------------
If you can't embrace autumn with grace, you don't deserve the spring!
------------
I miss you just enough to not forget you!
------------
You know you are reading for knowledge and leisure when the "important" becomes "wow".
Such transitions, I like.