Out of love - 80!

You know what matters?
NOTHING.
--------
Our stories are nothing but a little exaggeration of incidents and accidents that happen everyday!
--------
Love is not a land that you share,
It's like the air that surrounds.
Love flows.
-------
Let's just accept that we aren't afraid of people leaving us, what scares us is the fact that they'd move on & we wouldn't!
---------
You're strong you survived with the poison, the world is weak don't let it out; they will lose faith in the good that the world has.
-------
You're one of those mistakes that I want to forget but not erase.
---------
This pain,
Doesn't haunt
Or love me
Anymore.
---------
You can't en-cash the hurt, but if you don't en-cash your pain you are just losing an opportunity!
---------
Drink poison if you must to strive, survive and conquer.
------
How I wish we could love each other instead of just fixing ourselves under the garb of love, solace or whatever.

                                   

Let this pain be!

Tonight I don't want to
Get over this pain
The pain which is
Making every cell
Of my body scream.

Yes! I don't want it
To get over.
I want this pain
To kill the loner in me
The one which wants
Someone to listen.

It's high time this pain
Realises that the urge
For warmth especially during
The times of pain and trauma
Isn't the thing I can get it.

Yes, every cell is screaming
With every cell screaming
A part of heart is breaking
But, that doesn't mean
I get the licence to seek warmth.

All this pain and hurt and hollowness
Doesn't make me The nizam of Hyderabad
Who would have 100 people around
Just when I wanted
There's nobody.

I want this pain
To make the
Hopeful heart realise
The fact that
This hollowness, will stay.

The hollowness,
Hopefully, will leave
In a decade or more
But till then
This craving has to go.

And no,
There's nobody to be blamed, either
It's just me
And the power
I derive from the pain,
Tonight.

Ignorance, magic, gratitude!

If you're thinking
How often does your ignorance
Trouble me
Just know that it does
Every second.

Yes! Every second
I am thankful that now
It just hurts
And doesn't ache
That often.

Your blue ticks
Your seen notifications
Your constant updates
On Snapchat
And yet no replies
Have made me an artist.

For an artist
Consumes pain
And
Generates art
Magic and stardust.

It's okay,
You won't understand
For you aren't what I'm
And
I'm not what you're.

But,
Since my love
For you is
As eternal as
It can possibly be.

And so,
I will always
Be grateful
For what we
Once were.

You then
Made me a lover
And
Today an artist
How do I hate you?

When you've
Just beenS different
Forms of magic
Even in the
Times so tragic.

Us, humans!

The thing about us,
Humans is
That we run after perfection
While the imperfection
Winks at the perfection.

It's about how we
Love tattoos
And lose all of it
When we see or
Are reminded of our scars
This discrimination
This notion
Of the right
And the wrong
Kills us,
Kills us everyday.

We're humans
Who fear death
While we're all
Internally dead.

Our souls numb
And hearts in pieces
We flaunt our heads
As if it creates masterpieces.

It's all about this race
And race has never been
Good or kind
It just brings failure
And makes happiness
Difficult to find.

Out of love - 79!

Faith is a choice that you make,
If someone shreds it,
It's your bad,
You may choose to regret
Or deny,
As per your comfort
-------
From crying over broken toys to now hiding tears over broken hearts, we just realised growing up was not difficult; it was and still is down right fatal.
--------
There ain't a joke bigger, funnier and uglier than life.
--------
Time can do nothing, but pass and change. Such a coward, time!
----------
Past is not trash, it's just ash
---------
In the end you survive because the survival needs you.
---------
In life so hollow,
Is there any hope
That light may follow?
--------
It doesn't hurt everyday,
It just pinches once in a while and
that's exactly when you realize,
that it has been there, throughout
and you had just chosen to not acknowledge it,
when it was giving subtle signals.
-------
The thing is that they're all the same; just temporary and fake.
-------
You know what?
Your heart didn't age
And
Your passion didn't die
And, that's exactly what your head can't handle.
Hence, the mess/ chaos!

Faith, love, magic!

So,
You want to know what
Faith, magic, love
Looks, sounds like?
Just know that it
Doesn't look or sound
For it's not a mere mortal
Like you and me.

It's the power that
Has kept the Earth rotating
And our hearts beating
It's that version of oxygen
Which you and I can't define
But can't do without either.

It's the magic that your faith
Does to my inability to love
And be loved.

Dare you call it unreal
It may not be what your science
Can define
It may not be the essential
That your institution teaches
But,
It still is in you.

Yes! You.
The one who wants to
Wish as soon as it
Sees a shooting star,
The one who wants to
Pause for a while at 11:11
The one who finds infinity
In your lovers eyes.

Magic, faith, love.
Eat, prey, repeat.
Aren't meaningless
They're just a combination
Of unexpressed emotions
And unacknowledged feelings.

कुछ अलफ़ाज़, बस यूँ ही -16!

पहले पानी प्यास बुझाता था, अब आंसुओं ने पानी की अहमीयत ही खत्म कर दी और प्यास अपने आप ही मर गयी.
--------
क्या तुम्हें मेरी बातों में अपने लिये इंतजार महसूस नहीं होता?
क्या तुम्हें मेरी बेचैनी में अपनी चिंता नज़र नहीं आती?
---------
बात तो तुम में ज़रूर कुछ है,
जो तुम मुझे मेरे ही इज़हार में
मेरी खुद की हार दिखा देते हो।
-------
ख़ासियत है ग़म की, हमेशा अकेला ही आता है.
ना ख़ुशि का साया ना उम्मीद की किरण.
-------
तन्हाई से रिहाई की भीख माँग कर भी अब थक चुकी हूँ.
---------

समझ तो ख़ैर नहीं पायी हूँ

लेकिन फिर भी 

बस इतना जान गयी हूँ 

की ज़्यादा प्यार और घुटन 

में कुछ ख़ास फ़र्क़ नहीं होता 

-------

लगता है इस खेल में नए हो,

इसीलिए शायद 

मोहब्बत से क़ायदे की

और वक़्त से भरोसे 

की उमीद पाल रहे हो 

--------

हर रास्ते को मंज़िल मिल जाए ये ज़रूरी नहीं

लेकिन, हर मंज़िल का रास्ता तो होता ही है 

--------

अब तो नींद की फ़ितरत भी इंसानों जैसी हो गयी है,

जब मन करता है तब दग़ा दे जाती है।

------

अधूरी अर्ज़िश का नाम ही शायद ख़्वाहिश है।

Out of love - 78!

That crack in my soul that you and i refuse to acknowledge is exactly the place where my stream of art flows from!
--------
To you your vulnerability is beautiful, but for the world it'll always be an opportunity to exploit.
---------
Next time before I ask you for anything I will certainly remind my self to not ask you
---------
There wouldn't have been any heart ache if we didn't make memories out of our moments.
---------
All of us want our pieces to heal but the irony is we will never acknowledge our pieces.
-----------
Magic is entirely a matter of faith!
---------
Your restlessness will force you to crave for home.
----------
Pain may choose to leave your body, but the impact that it leaves on the soul is pretty much forever!
---------
It doesn't hurt everyday,
It just pinches once in a while and
that's exactly when you realise
that it has been there, throughout
and you had just chosen to not acknowledge it,
when it was giving subtle signals.
-------
But, life never said it would be easy and hope never claimed to be real, anyway.

Out of love - 77!

You know what?
People leave, ignore and hurt.
You know what?
We're all people.
--------
When you can't call it quits with grace,
Don't begin it in the first place.
---------
I regret you,
But never have I regretted loving you.
--------
Not that you would,
But, I sincerely wish
You could!
----------
If loving it makes you unlove yourself, just know that it's not worth it. It never was, it never will be.
---------
It takes time,
Time doesn't stop.
Don't worry,
Your life won't be a flop.
---------
The questions of the mind seek answers,
While the questions of the heart of soul seek peace and solace.
--------
Every Time I beg you to stay, I fail as a keeper first and a confidant next.
--------
It was emitting all the kind of gold which could fill all the cracks in my soul.
------
That crack in my soul that you and i refuse to acknowledge is exactly the place where my stream of art flows from!

Dear pieces!

Today we pray for
Parts and pieces
Some broken
Some not so broken
And
The rest unknown.

The pieces who's edges
Have refused to hurt
For they've been too broken
To sense our dirt.

To the pieces
We fail to acknowledge
For they're the one's
That've made peace
With all the garbage,
Whether it be
Within or around
They've just accepted
It all around.

Now, to the pieces
Who have chosen
To feel the pain along
Yes, the ones
Who have felt the
Unwept tears
And the misery of
Sleepless nights
And almost numb days.

To all you pieces
Who've stayed and sailed along,
Just know
I pray for you,
For that's all I can do.

Out of love - 76!

The best part of magic,
It's neither right nor wrong.
It just is.
---------
The best thing about us is, you don't give a damn and i give a damn about every damn thing related to you!
-------
Some pray, while the rest wish that they're the ones some are praying for.
--------
We live in the age of Snapchat, we love to capture moments but fail to keep the people who transform moments into beautiful memories.
-----------
You have often had the courage to take the air out of my lungs, but very unfortunately you haven't been able to kill me.
I win, even if it means otherwise to you.
-----------
One man's pastime is another man's business.
----------
Attachment with objects can be injurious to health.
However, attachment to human beings is fatal.
-------------
Some un-heal-able wounds should never become scars, so that they remind you of your inability to heal at times.
---------
The magic is not in us, it's in the characters we believe/imagine that reside in us.
---------
So you think destroying the memoirs of our memories will erase the moments that made it to our lists of memories? Ha.

The love that darkness emits!

My affair with darkness
Is no news,
We've realised we hate each other
Just like they hate
The fresh shit of a bird on their head.

But,
You know what's beautiful?
We give each other company
Everyday without fail
Till darkness fades
And my eyelids give up.

We've been constants
Just like sun and light
Unacknowledged, unwanted
Yet there without
Any reason or logic.

Something which
Seems like love
But will never be
Treated as love

For you know
We don't like each other
The dark wants me to sleep
I want the dark to be light

Yet, we want and crave
Each other every night.
Every night when
A new cyclone within
Is destroying me
It's this black dark sky
Holding me.

There is something
About the nights
Maybe faith
Or just some magic
Which makes me feel
Dreamy, easy and comfortable
In times tragic.

Every day I wish
Only if nights
Could be longer
And my mornings
Could be a little stronger.

But, damn.
They're just wishes
Unreal, stupid and mine
Who's going to fulfil them
When I have given up
So many times.

Yet, we manage!

You know what the best thing is?
It is the fact that we manage,
Manage to live,
Live without love
Without constants
Without lifelines.

We manage,
To live,
To survive
Or maybe it's just
The respiratory system
That's functional
And an organ that
Pumps blood without fail.

Whatever it maybe,
We manage.
Just manage
Like pros in the field.

However weak we may feel
However fragile our souls be
We just manage.
Manage enough
To fool ourselves
That this too shall pass
That we aren't the kind of beings
Who give up
In and on life
Because of people.

But,
Somewhere within
There is a tsunami in the making
A cyclone already whirling
A child who is crying
Yet, we manage.

This business of acting
To manage life like a cakewalk
Is so weakening
That I have almost forgotten
What weakness would feel like
And maybe, that forgetfulness
Has made me feel
Or rather forced me to believe
That I'll just manage.

Manage life, yet again.

Drama-less trauma, please?

Yes, it's going to be traumatic
Soul numbing traumatic, I hope not
But, whatever it is
Now that we know that it's traumatic
Let's avoid the dramatic bit.

Let's value the us we have nurtured
The hidden me in you
And the shy you in me
Are our take aways from this
Hopefully for the better
And eventually for the best.

Friends, lovers, lifelines
Been there done that
But, as constants
We tried being there
Couldn't do that.

कुछ अलफ़ाज़, बस यूँ ही -15!

पहले जब बुरा लगता था,
तब मैं रो लेती थी
अब बस हस देती हूं।
---------
जब तुम थी तब मैं खुश थी, नहीं हो, तब भी ज़िंदा तो हूँ ही.
रुका नहीं कुछ, बस बदल गया सब.
----------
किताबों से ज्यादा आंखें पढ़ी हैं
इसलिए शायद दर्द का एहसास ज्यादा
और बयान कम होता है।
---------
जब भी दर्द होता है तो बस तुम्हारी आंखों को याद कर लेती हूं, और फिर ना जाने सब अपने आप ठीक कैसे हो जाता है।
--------
अब मैं दर्पण के सामने नहीं जाती.
ना जाने यह कमबख्त
मेरा कोनसा टुकड़ा दिखा दें
जिसे मैं संभाल ना तो दूर
मैं देख तक ना पाऊं।
-------
तेरी एक मुस्कान के लिए मैं उसको हज़ार सज़ाओं की रज़ा दे दूं, हर रोज़।
--------
दोनों एक दूसरे को पकड़े हुए हैं इसलिए शायद संभले हुए हैं।
--------
उन्हें सिर्फ मेरे अश्क दिखाई देते हैं
काश हर अश्क के पीछे छुपा
इंतज़ार भी नज़र आता
तो मेरी आँखों से छलका
हर एक बूँद स्वार्थ हो जाता.
----------
तुम आओ या ना आओ, तुम्हारी याद तो रोज़ आ ही जाती है।
-----------

ख्वाहिशें हैं, बेनाम और सरफिरी तो होंगी ही.

You're not wrong!

You're right, absolutely right
When you say,
I'm not what
I once was.

I'm not,
Because, everything including you,
Time, circumstances, situations
Have changed
And also, maybe because
Change is essential
And stagnation is fatal.

From being hurt
To now being numb
I have come a long way
And this struggle
Has kept me sane
All along the way.

Yes, I cherish this change
Even if it's not a very pleasant one
To you, me and others
I still do
And I think I will for sometime.

Out of love - 75!

If it's love, it'll stay. Yes, forever. The in and out business isn't something that exists in love.
-------
Ignoring may or may not be a bliss, but, ignoring the ignorance certainly is blissful!
---------
If you believe in passion you will feel the sweetness in your sweat!
----------
But, they said magic is an illusion
A mere illusion, they emphasised, time and again.
Yet, you happened!
--------
Now that we've become comfortably numb with this pain, let's step out of the comfort zone and try to heal again.
--------
Love has never had any logic. It's meant to keep the insanity alive.
--------
Your soul isn't your heart, it won't break and give up. It'll survive and you will emerge out as a winner!
---------
Maybe, see you soon was made for hope.
---------
The best way to get over your pain is to cure other people's pain. That's how we deal and heal each other!
----------
The day your scars start hurting, you will realise the importance and beauty of healing and pain.

You won't go, I know!

That thing which used to heal me
Is leaving me,
Leaving me in the middle of nowhere
I can't see a path
Neither backwards nor forwards.

The thing which re-assured me
To keep breathing,
Even when the oxygen stinked
That thing is leaving me.

But, you know what?
I won't stop you
Because, you've taught me
To let it go
For, if it's meant to be
It'll be
And
If not, then rest assured
There's a new lot, waiting.

Even though as I feel
You leaving, I'm not broken
I'm just a little low
Or maybe a little something
That I don't know.

But, don't worry you
You aren't human
You won't leave me, forever
You're, the thing which
Has taught me
Kept me
Nurtured me
Healed me
And so I'm sure
You won't leave me.

If you can make
Paintings out of my tears
Poetry out of my bleeding heart
And music out of my shattered soul
You, can never leave me like that.

You're art,
Not something like
Light and dark
Love and faith
Smiles and tears
You're not a mere phase
You're the eternity
That has always been real.

This phase of me feeling
You leaving
Shall pass,
But, I know
You won't pass
You'll stay,
Right here
Within me,
As always!

Teach them!

Even if you don't teach them,
Science, maths and logic
They'll eventually learn it
Or maybe they can do
Just fine without knowing that too.

What you should teach them
Is love, the power of love
The magic that love brings along
The light and the infinity that compassion
Comes with
Yes, teach them that.

It's more important
Atleast more important than knowing
What 2+2 is.

Tell them that failure
Is not the end
Tell the darkness
Is not to be feared
But to be fought
With love.

Tell them the only
Battle they need to fight against
Is the battle going on in their head
And, that missiles and guns
Are absolutely useless.

All those borders
And boundaries
Are made by cowards
Teach them how to
Embrace the power
Of infinity and compassion.

Our kids,
Your children
My fellow human beings
Need not know
What is important
To print notes
For that is what
Necessity will force them to learn.

But,
What the black and white
And all your schools
Will fail to teach
Is the power of
Colours, love, imagination
Infinity and freedom
For they are slaves of
Boundations and boundaries themselves.

And that's sad, very sad
But, what's light without dark
We can always teach
Without classrooms and blackboards
For love of knowledge
And
Knowledge of love
Have never known any bounds.

Imperfect perfections!

You know you've been
Failing miserably,
Everyday
Because what you're doing
Is not what you should
But, you still are.

Nope, the rights and the wrongs
Aren't in a mess
All your recipes of perfection
Are just in place
Yet,
You're failing.

You know why?

Because, your magic
Your light, your glow
Your smile
They're gone,
Gone with the pressure
Of being,
Being perfect.

All this while when
They were teaching you
The formulas of perfection
There was none who told
You the beauty of imperfections.

They didn't teach you
That your imperfection
Was your share of magic
They didn't,
Because, maybe and just maybe
They feared the fire your
Imperfection could ignite
The light that your imperfection
Could emit and bring delight.

They, are just losers
Who just find victory
In our loss,
They, are just a bunch
Of sadists, who find pleasure
In snatching our magic.

But, they fail
Fail again
And again
Because, what they are trying
To destroy is what that has
Kept them sane and alive.

Yes, it's the imperfection
In the perfectionist
That makes them be
What they are.
Yet, they try to snatch it.

But, don't worry
For every bad
There is a good
To balance
And for them
We, the unapologetic
Imperfectionists
Still exist,
Half broken,
Semi-wounded,
Almost numb,
But, still we exist.

And maybe that is
How the world is
Dealing with the
Inability of healing.